#120: on absence, memory and the marvelous arithmetic of distance
Absence by Elizabeth Jennings
I visited the place where we last met. Nothing was changed, the gardens were well-tended,
The fountains sprayed their usual steady jet;
There was no sign that anything had ended
And nothing to instruct me to forget.
The thoughtless birds that shook out of the trees,
Singing an ecstasy I could not share,
Played cunning in my thoughts. Surely in these
Pleasures there could not be a pain to bear
Or any discord shake the level breeze.
It was because the place was just the same
That made your absence seem a savage force,
For under all the gentleness there came
An earthquake tremor: Fountain, birds and grass
Were shaken by my thinking of your name.
Other poems on Absence worth reading:
1. Absence by Amy Lowell
My cup is empty to-night,
Cold and dry are its sides,
Chilled by the wind from the open window.
Empty and void, it sparkles white in the moonlight.
The room is filled with the strange scent
Of wistaria blossoms.
They sway in the moon's radiance
And tap against the wall.
But the cup of my heart is still,
And cold, and empty.
When you come, it brims
Red and trembling with blood,
Heart's blood for your drinking;
To fill your mouth with love
And the bitter-sweet taste of a soul.
2. Smelling the Wind by Audre Lorde
Rushing headlong
into new silence
your face
dips on my horizon
the name
of a cherished dream
riding my anchor
one sweet season
to cast off
on another voyage
No reckoning allowed
save the marvelous arithmetic
of distance
3. Blues for Almost Forgotten Music by Roxanne Beth Johnson
I am trying to remember the lyrics of old songs
I’ve forgotten, mostly
I am trying to remember one-hit wonders, hymns,
and musicals like West Side Story.
Singing over and over what I can recall, I hum remnants on
buses and in the car.
I am so often alone these days with echoes of these old songs
and my ghosted lovers.
I am so often alone that I can almost hear it, can almost feel
the half-touch of others,
can almost taste the licked clean spine of the melody I’ve lost.
I remember the records rubbed with static and the needle
gathering dust.
I remember the taste of a mouth so sudden and still cold from
wintry gusts.
It seemed incredible then — a favorite song, a love found.
It wasn’t, after all.
Days later, while vacuuming, the lyrics come without thinking.
Days later, I think I see my old lover in a café but don’t,
how pleasing
it was to think it was him, to finally sing that song.
This is the way of all amplitude: we need the brightness
to die some.
This is the way of love and music: it plays like a god and
then is done.
Do I feel better remembering, knowing for certain
what’s gone?
Recommended Listening:
-Woven Song - Ólafur Arnalds (what a stunning video)
-Oh Beta Ji - Ludo/Albela
-I'll Do The Rocking - George & Gwen McRae
-Horses - Arletis & Suff Daddy
-Hard Work by Desmond and the Tutus
Links of the Week:
-Winners of the Weather Photographer of The Year 2020
-The Crying Room
-Animator creating Animation
-This pen is so eco-friendly, you can eat the ink (damn, I want to eat pen ink!)
-99 Positive Morning Affirmations You Can Use Daily
-On building an antilibrary: the power of unread books
-Former Ballerina with Alzheimer’s Recreates Her Swan Lake Choreography (I’ve been seeing this all over the internet and it warms my heart each time)
-Chickens being bribed with bird seed into making very cool street art
This is my newsletter #16: Shruti Sunderraman
A wonderfully curated newsletter by my neighbour Shruti Sunderraman, executive editor of Current Conservation and overall amazing human being. It's full of ecological inspiration, Korean housewives folding clothes, Ghibli food and Janaki Lenin for the soul. Read the full newsletter here.
New in the Journal:
1. Quarantine Moods by Preethika Asokan
"Finding positivity and humor in little things helped me stay sane in those uncertain times. For someone who overthinks everything, living alone in this situation only made things worse. All these emotions and vivid introspection are what ended up as an inspiration to this series." -Preethika Asokan
Check out her full series of illustrations and animations here.
2. 44 Sunsets: Sayali Goyal's Quarantine Sky Journal
"My sky journal is a conversation with myself.
It's about finding hope and seeing light in dark times.
It's a documentation of going within.
It's about connecting with nature, observing, and finding beauty in smaller things"
-Sayali Goyal
See some of my favorite sunsets from Sayali's sky journal here.
3. Collection of Memories by Avani Dwivedi
"When I started working on these illustrations, I was in quarantine in my tiny apartment in New York far away from my family and I couldn’t help but think of all the times I've spent as a kid with my brother, running around, making paper boats and sailing them in small monsoon ponds or the pleasure of eating cold ice kulfi on a hot summer afternoon. When I look back at these nostalgic sentiments, I feel the distance between me and my home getting closer. I hope this series brings you bliss, warmth and nostalgia for childhood, as it did for me." -Avani Dwivedi
See the full series for Children's Day here.
4. The Bird of Stone by Amoolya Narayan
“I asked for some time
some more time
and now I have all this time
and I have all these words
they’re flowing out
my fingertips pattering
all over the keyboard
like a familiar touch
a comforting sound
of work being done"
-from The Bird of Stone by Amoolya Narayan
5. Little Hands by Rohin Raveendran Nair
A beautiful film by Rohin Raveendran Nair, Little Hands tells the story of Jobin George, a sixth grader, as he sits through a difficult mathematics examination. With hostile classmates all around, their pencils in motion and a strict teacher on the prowl he loses hope. This examination forces Jobin to answer several difficult questions, some of mathematics and some other. Watch the full film here.
6. Niyogi Books x The Alipore Post: Calcutta 1940-1970-In the photographs of Jayant Patel
Calcutta 1940–1970: In the photographs of Jayant Patel is an outstanding collection of black-and-white photographs, depicting the yesteryear glory of the City of Joy. Steeped in history, the photographs take one back to the various neighbourhoods, the streets, statues, temples and synagogues, many of which still exist though the surrounding scenery may be different. Check out some of my favorite photographs from the book here.
Notes from home:
-My photograph is a part of the online photography exhibition Nature at its best, As Notice and Capture by the National Gallery of ModernArt, Bengaluru :)
-I finally started reading Think Like a Monk by Jay Shetty, and apart from the wisdom Shetty imparts in the book, I was amazed to read about Andy Puddicombe, co-founder of Headspace, having a degree in Circus Arts. I’m so grateful for both Jay and Andy in my life.
-I spoke about my night time routine with The Snoozeletter as part of their How She Gets to Bed series. Read about it here if you like.
-My poem The Summer of Death was featured in a beautiful film by Sofala Mai on Schon Magazine. Check it here. (It's so interesting how a fashion filmmaker could contextualise my words and poetry in her film, which explores social isolation and its effect on creativity and identity)
-A quote by Katherine Henson that resonated: “Having a soft heart in a cruel world is courage, not weakness.”
If you enjoy the newsletter or wish to support my endeavours, do consider becoming a supporter on Patreon/to thealiporepost@okhdfcbank via UPI. Supporters get a special monthly newsletter, made with extra love!