Aftermath of a Departure by Vidya Panicker
When you left, you took with you
my wardrobe
That, and the kitchen, and the vegetable garden
and the Gods in the room
Yesterday, I tripped on my saree
and ripped the edges of it. The 6 folds of cloth
tucked on my abdomen beneath the underskirt
came off and I stuffed it back in a hurry,
making it bulge out the rest of the day
Tie the skirt tight, tighter, I heard you say
I tried frying okras the way you did
It left a burning taste in my mouth, the taste
that reminded me of the year we went to Ooty
and had corn cob roasted on hot coal
You squeezed lemon on it to remove the bitterness of cinders,
a trick that might or might not work on my okras
I still take bath first thing in the morning,
but the Gods are always awake before me
I light the match stick
and extend my hands to the wick soaked in sesame oil,
The fan is turned off, the windows closed,
and I take care not to breathe
yet, somewhere on the way, the flame dies
And then there are the dents, two of them
on our plush sofa. One where you sat, peeling potatoes,
watching mega-serials of bad women scheming against good ones,
and the other where I did, fiddling with my laptop
Now I sit on the hump between the two dents
hoping that eventually the gaps would fill
These days, after I cook my lunch, burned or not
I leave a handful of rice on the backyard verandah
for the crows that are waiting to pounce on it;
all but one, who watches me astutely from the lowest branch
of the mango tree that you planted the year I was born.
And I know that is you,
watching out for me, telling me you are near. Art by Pranisha Shrestha
Recommended listening: I'm gonna sit right down and write myself a letter - Fats Waller
Hold On, I'm Comin' - Sam & Dave
Links of the Day: Hey Mama (The Jealous Curator's podcast,in conversation with her mother) Vertigo-Inducing Room Illusions bionicTOYS Flex-Bricks: Because Nature Is Flexible