The Late Night Limericks Edition

Surprise! :)

I just wanted to thank everybody for helping this newsletter grow, especially on the Facebook page. I hope you all enjoy these delightful limericks as much as I do. Good night! :)

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There is an old fellow named Mark,

Who lives in a tree in the Park.
You can see him each night,
By his library light,
Turning over the leaves after dark.
-James Montgomery Flagg
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The marriage of poor Kim Kardashian
Was krushed like a kar in a krashian.
Her Kris kried, "Not fair!
Why kan't I keep my share?"
But Kardashian fell klean outa fashian.
-Salman Rushdie
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T. S. Eliot is quite at a loss
When clubwomen bustle across
At literary teas
Crying, "What, if you please,
Did you mean by The Mill On the Floss?"
-W. H. Auden
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There was a young belle of old Natchez
Whose garments were always in patchez.
When comments arose
On the state of her clothes,
She replied, "When Ah itchez, Ah scratchez.
-Ogden Nash
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There was an Old Man with a beard,
Who said, "It is just as I feared!
Two Owls and a Hen,
Four Larks and a Wren,
Have all built their nests in my beard!"
-Edward Lear
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There once was a leopardess, Dot,
who indignantly answered: "I’ll not!
The gents are impressed
with the way that I’m dressed.
I wouldn’t change even one spot."
-Michael R. Burch
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There was a small boy of Quebec
Who was buried in snow to his neck.
When they asked, "Are you friz?"
He replied, "Yes, I is —
But we don't call this cold in Quebec!"
-Rudyard Kipling
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Our novels get longa and longa
Their language gets stronga and stronga
There’s much to be said
For a life that is led
In illiterate places like Bonga
-H. G. Wells

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A combustible woman from Thang
Exploded one day with a BANG!
The maid then rushed in
And said with a grin,
"Pardon me, madam -- you rang?"
-Spike Milligan

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An angry young husband called Bicket
Said: "Turn yourself round and I’ll kick it
You have painted my wife
In the nude to the life
Do you think, Mr Greene, it was cricket?"
-John Galsworthy
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